Council Tax

Students don’t pay council tax. If you receive a letter asking you to pay council tax, don’t worry. All that you have to do is go to Student Services and ask for a form to fill in. They will help you with every step of the process. If you receive a letter saying you have not paid for the past 6 months (with a huge bill attached), again don’t worry. Duing your time as a student you will never pay council tax (not even during summer). However, you will have to submit a new form every time you move home.

Where to buy musical instruments (and DJ gear) on the cheap

If you’re tired of prowling around pawn shops for cheap (read: stolen) guitars/things that make noise, take a look online. There are several websites and Facebook groups allowing you to buy things from other cash-strapped students and drug addicts, that offer higher quality and better price. The two main groups in Glasgow are: ‘Music gear buy/sell in Glasgow/Edinburgh’ (for general music things) and ‘Glasgow DJ gear & vinyl for sale/trade’ (for more specific dance items). If what you want isn’t on there, try Craigslist or Gumtree, but remember that most things on these Facebook groups will be reposted on these two, often at a higher price.

How to lose friends and alienate people

If you run out of cash halfway through the year, consider getting a job as a PR. They hand out flyers next to clubs for around £6.50 per hour before 1am, and £10-£15 for later. Note that you will only flyer later if you get a job at a techno club. This wage seems (and is) low, but has the added benefit of free entry to the club that you work for. Find a club that you like, and send them an email begging for a job. Or, pester them during Fresher’s Week and they might hire you on the spot. Note: The creme-de-la-creme of PR jobs are the Art School and Subclub, because you can be a dick to people.

For the Cash-Strapped Muesli Snobs

Desperate for some 50% tropical fruit Waitrose dream muesli but SAAS not quite on your level? A good compromise is to combine one Tesco’s least fine 0% fruit rabbit food poverty muesli with the aforementioned Waitrose muesli, so that those pineapple-y bits work out at almost half the price (in a convoluted way).

Clever Consumer Advice

If you’ve amassed a serious amount of coins in your desk/in a pint glass, take them down to a self-scan till. Chuck them all in, then select ‘pay by card’ to clear the rest. There’s no better feeling than paying for a sarnie with a squillion coppers and a 6p card payment.

Charity shops, such as the enormous Salvation Army on Dumbarton Road, are a great spot to pick up some pretty nice crockery on the cheap. Everyone will have the same green chopping boards and flimsy knife set from IKEA - nothing says ‘authenticity’ like a 4-set of ribbed mugs for £2.

How to spend 0 money and still somewhat enjoy yourself

Though there’s no ethical consumption in global capitalism, here’s some advice from one anti-consumerist, A to another, B.

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A: here, what can I do to entertain myself that is free? today was the first of many days where I drift aimlessly without purpose, I went to waitrose to get free coffee then had a sit down in multiple locations

B: ex-friendless poor first year me can help u here
i just walked
everywhere
i walked the whole subway loop
took photos

A: ok
sounds fun

B: like 10 mile walks
around town
but up into the m8 or wherever
there are a lotta buildings you can get into

A: wut fun is to be had

B: i swam a lot
libraries!!!!
libraries are amazing
hillhead is still my fave place to be sometimes
free
and great

A: ok, I'm gonna have to relearn how to read

B: organise your itunes

A: Ye

B: cook
like stuff that takes two hours
and that you can freeze

A: Cooking costs money

B: nah
not lentils

A: Mmmm good idea

B: lentils tin tomatoes brown sugar chili powder tins of mixed beans
fuckin recipe made in heaven
stay in the savoy centre over one cup of tea for three hours
develop a thing where you create a hashtag for when you find interesting litter on your ten mile walks around the m8
amass instagram followers

A: All good ideas

B: i swim a lot cause i have a gym membership
so thats a fun ~kinda free~ activity that i do

A: I might do running

B: i used to run along the maryhill canal whenever i was angry
it was great
i did it like twice cause i fucking hate running
but it's a nice route

A: Mmm

B: and i was really angry

A: Rage pavement bashing

B: i hadnt run for literally 4 years
and i ran like 7k
in one direction
then i was stuck like miles out
towards fucking paisley or some shit

A: Haha

B: i had to walk back in the dark

A: Poor planning

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In summary/addition, here is a list of free things

  • Tea/Coffee in Waitrose with a Waitrose Card (free to acquire)
  • Running far away along a canal
  • Meticulously organising your iTunes
  • Art Galleries
  • Walking
  • Libraries

Getting by without a guarantor

Foreign students sometimes have it rough. If you’re looking to rent, or moving out of Murano, you will often need a guarantor. This is someone who will pay your rent if something goes wrong, and must be UK based. The easy way to get around this is to date a British person (sorry). That way you can get their parents to hook you up, and Theresa May will be left scratching at the door like an ugly-ass cat who only loves you for the food you give it. An easier way is to make a British friend, and tell the landlord you are dating.

P.S. Regardless of nationality, a banker’s draft for 6 months rent in advance is universally accepted even if it’s coming from outside the country. If your parents have money that they would willingly pay now, instead of in installments over 6 months, you can avoid all difficulties through the power of £££££. Assuming an average rent is £350 p.c.m. (per calendar month), you would pay £2100.