Eldorado: The Road to Liquid Gold

Eldorado is like Buckfast but cheaper. A half/full bottle is £2.99/£5.99, compared to £4.50/7.49 for Buckfast. As 4 years of business school may eventually teach you, 5.99 is less than 7.49. It tastes like an ice cream float, but with red wine instead of Coca-Cola. You can buy it at the big yellow off-license on Great Western road.

Jacob’s: 1970’s prices, 1970’s booze

Jacob’s (St. George's Road) is the best off-license in Glasgow. It sells alcohol for orders of magnitude cheaper than a supermarket. Current offers include 3 bottles of Magners for £1, or those frozen sorbet booze things for 50p each. Most other off-licenses make their money by selling alcohol to children, but not Jacob’s: instead, their stock is just really really old. Like 2 years out of date. I bought a bottle of Hooch there in 2009, when it had been discontinued for 6 years. Actually that’s a lie, but you get the picture.

Drinking may lead to exercise

Glasgow doesn’t have a glass bottle collection scheme. Nor does it have bins for glass bottles in your apartment. Also, you can’t put glass in the recycling bin. As many of you will note, this is not ideal for a nation of alcoholics. Instead, to ease ‘the fear’, Glasgow City Council has helpfully provided glass recycling centres dotted around town, denoted by big bins with glass-shaped holes to put glass-shaped things in. Dragging a big bag of glass bottles through town is highly recommend for lapsed Catholics who miss feeling guilty about everything. You can find out where the recycling points are on the Glasgow Council website.

10 to 10

Alcohol in Glasgow is sold for consumption off-premises (i.e. not in a bar) between 10am and 10pm. There are no exceptions to this rule. It is strictly enforced, so don’t even try to ask the cashier. The fine for selling alcohol outside of these hours is astronomical. There are mythical services that will deliver alcohol after these hours, but note that delivery of alcohol is illegal between 10pm and 6am, and these services are often quickly shut down by the police. After 6 it will probably be ok, maybe.

Coffee Cons

You can’t expect to get very far in a car without petrol, obviously. The same science has been applied to students’ bodies, using coffee instead of fossil fuels. You may be content to get cheap shitty coffee from the library, or god forbid, coffee machines dotted round campus, but that’s like trying to put regular petrol into a dragster. (Extended car metaphor) You need to strike the balance between frugality and flavour. The ultimate measure of coffee taste is whether or not it needs sugar in it to be drinkable, good coffee won’t need sugar in it.

Greggs (fuckin’ everywhere mate) is clearly less independent and responsible than most of the other coffee places you can go to, but they make a damn fine coffee, against all the odds. You can get a coffee for £2, with either a cake or a savoury item, but be wary of huge queues in the morning and at lunch, and bratty schoolkids.

Artisan Roast (Gibson St) is an independent coffeeshop, serving very strong coffee and raw/vegan food. It’s on the cheaper side of the independents, and it’s always quite busy. It has a nice atmosphere and has free wi-fi too, and so is a good alternative to the library on busy days. The basement flat underneath it used to have a cannabis farm in it which made the customers feel woozy but that has since been shut-down.

Vegan Beers

Quite a lot of beers are not suitable for vegetarians. This is because of a material called isinglass, which is used to filter the sediment from beer, and is made from fish bladders. Here is a selection of cruelty-free beers:

  • Almost all Williams Bros beers (if served from bottle or keg)
  • Most Brewdog beers
  • All Drygate beers (if served from bottle or keg)
  • Budweiser
  • Stella Artois
Also of note: Williams Bros serve vegan cask beer and ale at the 78 (Kelvinhaugh St), which contains no isinglass.